I should be pretty happy about the final chemo tomorrow, and I have moments where that’s true. But I’m not feeling good today, so it’s hard to “look forward” to chemotherapy. I’ll look forward to being done with it, which requires me to ignore the fact that I’m about to feel like crap again for a few days. Oh, wait, I already feel like crap. Huh. Okay, so I look forward to nothing changing, two weeks going by and voila! I’m through with chemo. Mostly. I hope to learn tomorrow when I can go back to normal–as in, go back in the jacuzzi, eat sushi, eat mushrooms, strawberries and all other sorts of “dangerous” foods. And how long before the energy returns? Inquiring mind needs to know. And I have to say, I have great admiration for folks who’ve gone through chemo for months on end. This will be my fourth treatment–and that’s a short cycle. Many folks have to do 6 or 8 or even more (and in times past, even more was common; science has moved ahead and they find so many chemos are not necessary). I’m pretty sure whatever positive attitude I’ve managed to muster would completely evaporate if I thought I had 6 or 9or 12 more weeks of this. No, thank you.
So because I’m not feeling well, I’m going to bed early and not doing much blogging. I’m sure there will be plenty to say post-chemo. Any bets on whether I even see the doctor tomorrow?
(Don’t forget to scroll down and vote on the TWO polls on the right. I find the results so far extremely interesting!)